Lent: Lies Exposed

“…I realized there were three core lies I’d believed most of my life.

First, I realized that, for a long time, I had been believing the lie that at some point everyone was going to leave and I would be left alone. Because of my past, I was living my adult life as if the story of my upbringing was going to be replayed over and over. Put simply: it was the fear of abandonment that came into the light.

The second lie that surfaced surprised me a bit. I was living a strange lie that I was a boy, not a man. That may sound a bit odd so let me unpack it. A boy looks for safety and security, expecting others to create it. A man creates safety and security and invites others into it. I didn’t feel like I could handle many of the situations I encountered on a day-to-day basis. When I met these situations I felt like a boy, ill equipped to handle what was in front of me.

The final lie was exposed as I sat on the bluff overlooking Guemes Channel. Enjoying the serenity of that beautiful vista, I realized there was a deep conviction that I wouldn’t ever be fully free or at peace. The line of thinking I’d been caught up in was that my life could only be “okay.” There was something in me that believed I could only manage the fear, anxiety, and depression that shook me at times. In my mind, a life at peace with God and others, even with myself, was not attainable.” (Chapter 3 Am I Loved?)

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