On Mothers Day last year, I said goodbye to my mom. It is the hardest thing I have ever done. Two days earlier, Dad had been told by hospice that Mom would be passing in the next few days. By Mother’s Day, mom was primarily not “with us” and it was just too hard for me to see her like that. I had to say goodbye.
Earlier in the day, we asked our pastor, Jack, to lead a worship service in our backyard. This was during the pandemic so we had families come into the backyard one by one, take communion, then exit. For about an hour, friends came through while my brother, sister, and I sat in our backyard. Dad and Mom sat just inside the house in full view of the yard. It was a special time, my Mom’s last communion with her family.
Later that evening, my brother, sister, and I went into the room where Mom was laying in her hospital bed at our home. We each gave Mom a card and a gift and read her cards aloud. After that, I sang a familiar song to Mom, one that I sang in front of a large group a few months after Mom had been diagnosed years earlier. After I sang, I asked Elijah and Hadassah if I could be with Mom and Dad alone. I remember saying, “Momma, I have to do something I never wanted to do. I have to tell you goodbye. It’s too hard to see you like this and I have to say goodbye today. I love you so much. You are the best mom anyone could ever ask for. You have taught me so much and have modeled how to live life. I will miss you so much, momma. I love you.” After I said those words to Mom through tears, I left the room. The next time I saw her was shortly after she took her last breath two days later. I still miss Mom so much, but I am thankful that she is no longer in pain.
You may have seen it on my Dad’s blog. We wrote Ode to A Fierce Momma and read it to Mom before our communion service that day. Our Mom was simply the best. We miss her so much.